But why?

“Because I said so!”

A simple sentence with extraordinary power. It’s what all of us have had to listen to, and accept as a sufficient reason, whenever we asked our parents why we were being made to do something. I, for one, have heard this dialogue from my mother so many times that I could correctly predict exactly when it’s going to be directed at me next.

When we were small this statement was ultimate. You could fight and argue and cry and question all you liked, but the minute this phrase was uttered, the discussion was over…you had to do what you were told to. And that reason was enough for us.

But as we grew into thinking individuals looking for greater independence, this answer was simply not enough. Until and unless we were given a satisfactory reason for what we were being told to do, it was not done. We began to question not just the reason behind our parents’ commands but their authority over us itself. Instead of ‘why do we have to do this’ the question became ‘why are you telling us what to do’.

“Switch off the TV.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

An eight-year-old’s response to this would be to quietly switch off the TV without further discussion. But if a parent was to try the same thing with a 15-year-old, the conversation, rather the argument, would probably go like this:

“Switch off the TV.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“But why? I want to finish watching this movie.”

“You can watch it later; you need to go study. You have a test coming up.”

“I know how much time I need to finish the syllabus…I’ll manage. I’m going to finish the movie first though.”

This would probably go on till either the kid gave in and switched off the TV, which is unlikely, or the mother gave up and let him finish the movie. Though the mother wanted the child to go study, he didn’t think that the reason was good enough to make him miss the movie. The result? He didn’t miss the movie.

As we grew, our need to control our own lives grew. The rebel in us grew. Our first reaction to everything is now to question, counter and argue. Our theory is that if with age comes responsibility, so should complete freedom. This transition from dependent to independent is inevitable. As we get older, it is only natural that we want to make our own decisions, form our own opinions, follow our own path. But what is important, is for us to understand that it was our parents who made us able enough to do so in the first place. It was them who trained us to know necessary from avoidable, need from want, right from wrong.

After all, we did spend the first ten years of our lives quietly obeying our parents, and nothing went wrong. 

Would it really hurt to listen to them once in a while even if we disagree?

To show that we do still respect their authority over us?

For their sake?

For the sake of the good they have in their hearts for us?

Because they probably still know what’s best?

Because they say so?